On Sunday evening, Jan. 26th 2020, I pulled into my garage, eagerly waiting to return to my computer and PS4, fighting a constant anxiety that have become constant. I open the garage door, enter my house, walk through the hallway to my computer and sit down. I typed in a ‘Y on my keyboard and my computer, and my computer searches for ‘Youtube’. As I scrolled through the comments and posts of my “friends,” I noticed that a video showed a helicopter with the words, “Kobe Bryant killed in crash.” I stared at the screen, numb to the meaning of the words, as if there were no words to title the video. I continued to stare and the my disbelief began to fall away like strands of hair after the barber has trimmed them. “Kobe Bryant is dead,” I thought to myself. “Kobe Byant is dead,” again I repeated, failing to believe my eyes the first time I made the statement. I don’t know if I was more in shock about his death or if I had a positive belief that he couldn’t be dead. Whatever the case, I felt horrible.
To make matters worse, the anchor woman was stating that one of his daughters was also on the helicopter. Many other people died as well. My initial reaction is to say that this is life, to mourn for his family, and to learn something from this tragedy. I noticed in the recesses of my mind that old questions about life themselves didn’t revive again. A younger version of myself would probably have wondered why God would allow something so tragic to happen, but after the death of childhood friends to violence, my grandmother to pneumonia, after watching the stages of death in her body, after seeing her eyes set and her breathing become like a whimper, I had no questions, only sadness.
I know that someone might question my faith during tragedies like these: “How can an all-loving God allow suffering,” they might say. The how question is obvious, unless by how, the cynic is referencing an alleged conceptual problem with certain beliefs. Perhaps, the reasoning goes as follows:
1) If God is all-loving, then he loves all people.
2) If he loves everyone, then he wouldn’t let them die in a helicopter crash.
Conclusion: Kobe, his daughter, and the nine other people should not have died in the helicopter crash.
These were not thoughts that I entertained. I didn’t question whether the concept of God could include a divine person that loves the people he has created and has a good purpose (or end) for their tragic deaths. This is logically possible. So, we are not dealing with the coherence of theism. My response was a cold, calculating objectivity that accepted life as brutal, harsh, and something to be endured. My thoughts were pity for Giana Bryant, knowing she would not have a life. My thoughts were sadness for Bryant. Who knew his life would end this way? Unbelievable! “God why did you allow this to happen,” was my thought. Why? My temptation is to lean towards deism. God exists but doesn’t really care about human societies. But how could I accept this and accept the Christian story that God became man to save humanity from an eternity of life as we experience it. That Christ came to reveal God’s love and give hope to humanity in this fallen world, teaching that the evils of our present time–disease, violence, lack, and death are a part of this current world but will not be a part of the future world. Upon reflection, I see that my heart was wondering whether the tragedy of such horrible events also hurts God as much as it hurts us. Do tragedies such as the death of these nine people hurt God? Are there tragedies to God? These are the questions that I will be exploring over the next three posts. I hope you will follow me and join me. Have a question? Leave it in the comment section.